(no subject)
Jun. 18th, 2002 05:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
garoteYou know what I liked the most about ex2? She always knew exactly how to act in a romantic moment. If we were talking about something important, and I took her hand and looked at her, she would look right back, and be right there with me. We both knew how to discard the entire world around us for that intent, direct link.
She wouldn't suddenly tense up, out of some nervous aversion to intimacy. She would never look away. She wouldn't be too busy smoking a goddamn cigarette to accept my hand. She would never be drunk and unable to concentrate. I think it was because, underneath all the laughter and the hugs and the warmth, we took our relationship very seriously.
And always, always, ALWAYS, if we asked what was on the other person's mind, they would tell us.
As far as I'm concerned, the phrase "I don't want to talk about it" is slow poison to a relationship. Over a thousand ICQ messages, countless emails, postcards, and written letters, and millions of spoken words, ex2 and I never said "I don't want to talk about it" a single time.
Please, people ... stop using that phrase. Whenever you're tempted to, discard it, and instead plunge forward into whatever it is you want to avoid. Because when you bring that out of yourself with words, and communicate it to someone else, you change it's shape within yourself ever so slightly.
She wouldn't suddenly tense up, out of some nervous aversion to intimacy. She would never look away. She wouldn't be too busy smoking a goddamn cigarette to accept my hand. She would never be drunk and unable to concentrate. I think it was because, underneath all the laughter and the hugs and the warmth, we took our relationship very seriously.
And always, always, ALWAYS, if we asked what was on the other person's mind, they would tell us.
As far as I'm concerned, the phrase "I don't want to talk about it" is slow poison to a relationship. Over a thousand ICQ messages, countless emails, postcards, and written letters, and millions of spoken words, ex2 and I never said "I don't want to talk about it" a single time.
Please, people ... stop using that phrase. Whenever you're tempted to, discard it, and instead plunge forward into whatever it is you want to avoid. Because when you bring that out of yourself with words, and communicate it to someone else, you change it's shape within yourself ever so slightly.
no subject
Date: 2002-06-19 02:15 am (UTC)This sort of situation would usually arise when ex2 and I were "in public". Out with parents, seeing friends, that sort of thing. Or we'd defer a conversation until morning, if one of us was worn out. It was understood, of course, that we weren't trying to keep something off the stove entirely ... just swap the pots around, so things didn't boil over.
Mmmm I love those cooking analogies! Oh shit, that reminds me, I have some Romaine out on the counter ... got to put it away ...
1. My ex is the girl I dated last year. my ex2 is the girl I dated before that. I ain't naming names, but I have to find some way to keep them separate. They were(are) very very different people. I mean, very. I mean, Yow! Very.
3. Wait ... what quote, where? I'm confused!
no subject
Date: 2002-06-19 03:05 am (UTC)1. makes sense... i am just careless and toss out names to identify all the ex's.
2. i read Zeugma's comment after i posted mine, and kind of felt retarded. it all equals the same thing, so it's all good!