garote: (weird science)

It's Sunday and I'm on break from the real world. Time for mini-reviews!

(A note on perspective: I'm a "gen-X"-aged person from the Bay Area, raised on a diet of Monty Python, Stephen King, and Ducktales. I assume your own tastes will vary.)

Constellation (2024)

I'm a sucker for a good present-day or near-future space drama. I like to watch brave people messing with screwy hardware while they live messy lives, and that was what I expected from this show. And I got that, but I also got something else: A tense psychodrama that digs into themes of mental illness and objective versus subjective reality, twisted around a central mystery that unwinds very artfully as the episodes go.

As an adult with a "mad scientist" type of memory that seems very accurate right up until I stumble into an alarming pit, I can relate quite well to the characters. And I know that the premise, scientifically speaking, is pure hogwash, but I decided I just didn't care because the show sticks to its own rules, even when things get very complicated. For example, there are back-to-back scenes deep into the show that appear to be happening to the same character, except a scar on their forehead keeps appearing and then vanishing. In any other show that would be an embarrassing continuity error. Here it's a deliberate clue. They do very little spoon-feeding, and I love it. Either you're paying attention or you're lost. They don't pop up a character every five minutes who plays dumb and has the plot explained to them in simple terms by some other character, like you get in, oh, just about everything Star Trek and Marvel from the last 20 years.

Some nitpicking: The characters spend a little too much time wandering around between cabins. You'll know what I mean when you get there. Also, I found it surprising that in the last episode, we don't get a full explanation of what's been going on, to match up with what we pieced together. It's a bit like we're at the end of a mystery novel, and now we expect the famous detective to use their little gray cells and explain exactly how the murder really happened. It validates and congratulates us. But that doesn't happen here.

I honestly wonder if, deep in the guts of this production, they prepared two edits of the last episode: One that answered everything and tied it all off, and one that gave no final explanation and left a few threads loose. And by week six or seven of watching the online reviews, they realized the show was going to be a hit, and so they cued up the second version, leaving us hanging for another season.

I want that to be the case, because it's very clever, and because it would neatly excuse the showrunners for making a plot that leaps about so acrobatically and then, at the last moment, fails to stick the landing.

Now we have to wait, what, two years for a second season? I don't think I have the patience for that, honestly. The puzzle has been assembled. What's left for a second season but sweeping the pieces back into the box?

Seven spooky space helmets up out of ten.

One Piece (Live Action Version) (2023)

Netflix has been very uneven with live adaptations of beloved anime, like Cowboy Bebop, Death Note, Bleach, etc. One Piece punches above its weight.

The creators of this show must have learned from past mistakes. They preserve the comedy, the thematic digressions, and even the action, but most importantly, they preserve the sense of absurdity that firmly plants One Piece in its own space. In this world, seagulls wear hats and deliver the mail in little bags. Giant snails act as telephones. Marine captains wear hoodies with mouse ears. A "fish man" is a regular man who walks around on land in regular clothes, but has fins on his triceps, a sawtooth nose, and teeth that regrow in seconds. Because... why? Because it's freakin' absurd, that's why. And best of all, no one, anywhere, questions or comments on any of this.

The thesis is right there in your face from the beginning: This isn't science fiction. You can't even make a start at understanding how this universe works. You're gonna have to take it as allegory or something. So with that established, what really matters here? The characters. The world is insane but their struggles are very genuine. And yeah, most of it is soap-opera level family stuff about estranged fathers and sisters, and even saying it's soap-opera level is too strong because there's zero romance, but everyone is so dang earnest and heartfelt that you can't help getting invested. Rooting against One Piece would be like rooting against puppies.

A while back, I recommended an anime called "That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime". I said: "It's a show where the protagonist resolves conflict through compromise, mercy, alliances, and generally being friendly. Things work out, people turn away from violence, and life gets better. And perhaps it's because I viewed it in the depths of the pandemic, but, I found that refreshing."

That applies here too. Seven straw hats up out of ten.

Scavengers Reign (2023)

In this series, the main character is a weird planet full of weird wildlife. If that sounds like your cup of tea, then you will find this one absolutely delicious. If not, move on.

Non-spoiler alert: This is absolutely my cup of tea. I've come across a bunch of stories over my long journey in science fiction that serve this particular brew, and I always love it. The examples the spring to mind right now are Piers Anthony's "Of Man And Manta" (1968), Arthur C. Clarke's "Rendezvous with Rama" (1973), and Stephen Baxter's "Proxima" (2013). The common thread is: You're separated from your own environment by an unimaginable gulf of space, dropped into an alien ecosystem operating on its own strange rules, and if you pay attention, you can see how it works. The common experience is: Everything around you evokes a sense of newness and wonder, and possibly danger, along with a sense of deep isolation because you know you are probably the only human to ever see these things, and may never understand them.

This series doesn't occupy this niche by accident. You can tell because for large chunks of time, the episodes just abandon the human characters completely and hang around watching the wildlife do odd things. Ideally, these things would be weird but would stand up to the close scrutiny of evolutionary biologists. That is, they would have plausible answers to the question "how did these creatures and behaviors evolve?" And, well, I can't say this planet bears really close scrutiny, but it bears some, and that's good enough for me to stick with it. Through the first half I was utterly hooked. Yeah, who cares if the characters are a bit stilted and the "villain" is one of those "let's make this guy the worst in every possible way" writing exercises? This show is the opposite of One Piece: I'm not here for the characters, I'm here for the world.

Also, another recommendation: If you like teasing out the weird and possibly broken rules of alien worlds, you gotta check out Aeon Flux, from back in the day.

Eight out of ten wavy alien doodads up.

Star Wars: Andor (2022)

Definitely the best of the Star Wars series, and I think that's for one important reason: The main character is not a magical space wizard or a super-badass warrior monk, he's a regular person stuck in the brutal gears of a totalitarian machine. He and most of the people around him split their time between scraping by on a working-class living and quietly hating the empire.

This provides a lot of pathos, and opportunity for fancy speeches about the need for rebellion. There are a lot. In general, that's good because the Star Wars universe tends to use its central idea mostly as decoration, even though it's right there in the name: This is war. War is what happens when systems of governance become too exploitative, at home or abroad. And this series actually examines how that would look, and work, from the inside.

In fact the show does too good of a job. Most of the way through it I was suddenly struck by a similarity that had never occurred to me before. The North Korean government produced a cartoon show many years ago called Squirrel and Hedgehog. The entire point of the show was to indoctrinate young viewers into the idea that the North Korean government's use of endless war preparation and endless persecution was normal and necessary, because everyone else in the world was out to get them, and was also far more evil and hateful towards their citizens than North Korea could ever be. So it's episode after episode of spies, and open warfare, and sabotage, and suffering, and constant threat of invasion, and the only way forward for a so-called peaceful society is to work as hard as you could every day making weapons and building walls, and you should never, ever trust anyone beyond them.

What's chilling to me is, this endorsement of total war as a way of life is also the core of Star Wars. Rebellion is cool and exciting, and if you're not participating, you're a sucker (Lando Calrissian), a scoundrel (Han Solo), an idiot (Boss Nass), cannon fodder (The Ewoks), a feckless politician (the galactic senate) or a member of the pampered and ignorant middle class (the entire planet of Alderan, soon obliterated). The only way to redeem yourself is to get sucked into the war.

Needless to say this does not sit well, and by the end, when it's clear that every character is on a course for destruction or suffering because they have given their entire lives to the cause (and made multiple speeches about it), some fatigue sets in. It doesn't help the momentum when, halfway through the series, the heroes strike a triumphant blow for the rebellion and all the narrative steam suddenly whooshes out of the show. I walked away from it for weeks and almost didn't come back.

It sounds like I'm not endorsing this show. But I am. It will just put you in a strange headspace. Perhaps season 2 will get a chance to play around a little, but I doubt it. That's not why Andor is here.

Six little notebooks full of revolutionary polemics up out of ten.

Star Wars: Ahsoka (2023)

This is a weirdly paced show. The action - space battles and swordfights - moves along well, but when it's time for characters to develop, it slows down to a crawl. That would be fine if the actors were consistently able to externalize the conflicts they're working through in each scene, but often they can't deliver, and we're left just staring at the face of someone while they glitch out trying to remember their next line or why they're in the room.

Most of the problem is Ahsoka herself. Rosario Dawson plays her as a weathered and weary freedom fighter who has nothing in her life except her cause, and should have retired long ago. It feels like she's sick of being herself. And that's certainly a valid take on a character that has been through so much violence and been betrayed so thoroughly. It's a believable place for her to end up. But it's also ... well ... not very fun or entertaining. Ahsoka the character is a lead weight in every scene. And that's a real problem for a Star Wars show.

It's easy to mock the Disney crop of Star Wars media. I've done it myself, by pointing out how incredibly constrained their sandbox is: If a pre-teen boy would find it scary, confusing, or icky, it doesn't exist. Or to put it another, more on-the-nose way: Disney Star Wars is Snow White with rockets and lasers. If you want moral ambiguity, real tragedy, or kissing with tongues, you're out of luck. But even within this tiny sandbox, there is still plenty of room for jokes, pratfalls, musical interludes, swashbuckling, and light-hearted banter, which the original films delivered at a pleasing rate. The writers for Ahsoka must have taken on some kind of purity challenge, because they shoveled those things out of the sandbox as well, leaving just the action, the cool costumes, and the visual effects. Which are quite good, but... Well, Star Wars is already the Saturday breakfast cereal of the sci-fi world, and this box has most of the marshmallows picked out. You'll still eat it, staring at the art while you chew mechanically, but afterwards you'll wonder why you brought it home.

Five out of ten spooky space witch thumbs up.

Severance (2022)

The people who curate the Apple TV media brand have really embraced sci-fi, and that doesn't surprise me because the company is loaded with computer nerds. Perhaps they determine what to produce by taking internal surveys, and always get back "Hey do some sci-fi! Great, now do more!"

This show turned out to be much more sci-fi than I expected. Not by way of space lasers and aliens, but in the classical sense of exploring the consequences of a technology. It's also hard to describe what the show is about without spoiling at least some part of the structured reveal that makes it so fun to watch.

I can say this: It's not action-oriented. There are no explosions or fancy creature effects, and no one takes a rocket to space. But if you like psychological thrillers and like it when stories compel you to revisit earlier scenes because they're constantly getting recontextualized, this show is for you. It rewards attention. At the end of each episode you want to pause and pick through what you've just seen. I dig that.

The show isn't perfect. The first season doesn't resolve much, despite multiple opportunities, which is frustrating. Also, a major theme of the show is the extent to which we allow corporations to manipulate our bodies and minds in the pursuit of a wage, and as the writers explore it they trek onto some really shaky ground. It's not that you can't believe a corporation would be sneaky enough to do a thing, it's that you can't figure out why a corporation would bother doing a thing because there doesn't seem to be any profit to it. "Because it's evil and wrong" is not a real motive.

Still, these are minor faults in a great potboiler of a show. Now's a good time to watch it, since a new season is approaching and you won't find the delayed resolution of the first one quite so frustrating.

8 spooky computer screens full of numbers up.

Black Mirror (Series 6) (2023)

Be warned. This is less of a review and more like a post-watch rant, even more tailored to my point of view than usual. Unlike the above reviews, I go episode by episode, and there are a few spoilers in this section.

Episode 1: Joan Is Awful

The first 15 minutes are really rough going, because it's not just "Joan" that's awful, it's every character with more than a few lines that's awful. Joan is selfish, callous, and dangerously non-confrontational. Her ex-boyfriend is a pushy sleazebag with no empathy. Her current boyfriend has outrageous trust issues. (Demanding to see her phone? Instantly believing the content of a television show over her words? Demanding to know what she said to her therapist?) Middle-aged adults making teenager-level mistakes feels disappointingly easy.

Buried in the plot revelations most of the way through the episode is an explanation of why all these characters are exaggerated versions of crappy people, but that does nothing to make the first half bearable. Guess I'm just too old for this shit.

And then there's the actress who plays her in the meta-show, who says and does things that barely pass as human to move the plot along. But hey, it's all about the concept, right? So we ignore the meshing gears, and try to embrace the idea, as the episode loudly shifts from a psychodrama into a farce at the halfway point.

Unfortunately, it's ground that Black Mirror has tread at least four times before, as I recall: Company X has invented technology Y that aggravates the worst aspects of society Z. Company X doesn't care about the social harm, technology Y is inescapably addictive, and society Z is gob-smackingly complacent, all of which puts our main character through a wringer, and they either fight the system and smash it, or (more likely) fight the system and lose dreadfully.

In this case, Joan very literally smashes the system, which somehow puts a permanent end to the central problem and also provides the impetus to reverse not only the trajectory of her life, but her entire personality as well. It's nice to see Black Mirror attempting to buck tradition by giving their protagonist and plot an upbeat ending, and stories about the collapse of society into paranoia and barbarism are a bit unpalatable to a 2023 audience, for obvious reasons... But Charlie Brooker leaned a bit too hard in the "good vibes" direction and the payoff feels unearned, and adds another layer of fakeness to the whole affair.

Episode 5: Demon 79

Very lovely set direction, and with coloring to match the fashions of the time. The time period is not arbitrary here. The constrained life and social circle of the main character is a bit overdone, but there's a point to it: What follows next could only be chosen by a person with no other options.

The ending is a bit conceptually muddled and as the credits rolled I was asking myself, "What's the theme here? What's the argument being made?" It doesn't hold together enough.

Also I watched this one right after "Joan Is Awful" and for the second time the episode was hard to stick with because so much of the characters and setting was miserabilist. I like a sci-fi concept with interesting thoughts foremost, and good laughs second. To feel aggravated at the behavior of characters and want them punished is not on that list.

Episode 4: Mazey Day

Same dang thing as the last two episodes, at first. Horrible people acting horrible, and perhaps it's supposed to be edgy and get your pulse up, but to me it's cartoonish and annoying. I know we need broad strokes to define characters with economy in a short story format, but this is like painting with a pressure washer.

You know those big budget films with fancy actors playing "computer hackers", where nobody involved in the production, from writers to directors on down, has ever used a computer beyond checking email and playing a few rounds of solitaire? This is that. Except in this case it's not computers they don't understand, it's people behaving badly. The writer sat down and thought, "I want to make tension, so I'm going to make this character the designated asshole, and think up asshole things for them to say and do, so the other characters can get hurt and angry." The problem is, "he's just an asshole" is not a believable motivation. Maybe the writer is too inexperienced, or too lazy, or just too timidly socialized to create and write a character that can show a relatable motivation for doing or saying an ugly thing.

At least it was short. I spent the first two thirds of it wondering why such a bonehead story even deserved to be filmed, then the last third going, "okay so this is a genre throwback, and has shifted gears into that, and dang I wish it had just shifted gears after the first two minutes because now it's way more enjoyable." Is every single episode this season going to be this way? You spend the first third watching people be assholes and wondering what the point is, then there's a twist? Perhaps that's the Black Mirror formula now.

Episode 2: Loch Henry

In this case, we get "people behaving like assholes" for just a little bit in the first 20 minutes. It wasn't ham-fisted either, so I'm rolling with it. But we do still get that same question, for the first two thirds of the episode: Why does this story even deserve to be told?

Then of course there's the twist. Thankfully, the story is carried beyond the immediate consequences, and we get some additional detail to provide food for thought. I'd say that of all the episodes I've seen so far, this one is the most gracefully told, with the most believable characters. It's also not trying to deliver a high-concept premise or a "this world is not our own" rug pull, and perhaps that's not a coincidence.

Episode 3: Beyond The Sea

I usually like things set on space stations, so I saved this one for last after glancing at a few frames of it. What a waste.

The episode is well over an hour long, but at the 15 minute mark I suddenly knew exactly how the story would play out, beat-by-beat. Suspicious, I skipped forward almost an entire hour, and yep, there's the scene where it all unravels and confirms it. I'm not even going to bother summarizing.

That's it for now!

garote: (weird science)

(A note on perspective: I'm a "gen-X"-aged person from the Bay Area, raised on a diet of Monty Python, Stephen King, and Ducktales. I assume your own tastes will vary.)

The Peripheral (2022)

I really dug this show. It started out telling a series of personal stories and never strayed too far from that, even as the sci-fi concepts got convoluted. Reviewers complained that it abandoned the personal in favor of the ideas but I disagree. Chloë Grace Moretz carried the central role easily and always found a way to bring some nuance to scenes and a role that wouldn't have had enough detail to stand by itself.

I was really hoping for a second season that might unravel some of the extremely hasty plotting in the last episode, but that's not happening. Still very worth watching, and I hope it boosts Moretz' career.

Seven out of ten funky VR goggles up.

The Last Of Us (2023)

I played about half of the game this was based on, skipping ahead across save points that my girlfriend had left on the console. It was intense though sometimes far too self-serious for the contrived drama it was trying to deliver. It was also guilty of railroading the player into making bad decisions for the sake of the plot, which I found extremely annoying.

The transition to a miniseries was done very smartly, fleshing out the world and characters in ways that a single-character first-person perspective didn't allow. Most welcome and surprising was an episode right in the middle of the run that just dropped the main characters completely and told a different story set in the same world. That was a high point. Unfortunately, it returns to the plot of the game, and crashes into one of those contrived false-choice setups that got me so annoyed as a player.

I am now going to utterly spoil the last episode, in order to complain about it, so if you want to watch this show without foreknowledge, skip this list of exasperated questions:

  • Why the hell wouldn't they let Joel talk to her?
  • Why the hell would they want to put her under for surgery only a few hours after taking her in?
  • Why would they lie to her about the consequences?
  • Why would they need to remove her entire brain in order to extract a sample of tissue, which could have been done with a large freaking needle?
  • How did Joel manage to slaughter his way through what looked like ten heavily armed and trained men who apparently did not even coordinate over the radio or know the chokepoints of the area they were supposed to defend?
  • Why wouldn't they throw another smoke grenade at him, since the first one knocked him right the hell down for plot-essential reasons, even though bullet wounds and blunt trauma couldn't do that all throughout the rest of the series?
  • How is Joel upright and so active after being cold-cocked in the back of the head with a rifle? That's a serious injury. You don't just get conveniently put to sleep from something like that. You stand a chance of your brain swelling up in your skull from internal bruising and putting you in a coma and/or giving you lifelong brain damage.
  • Why doesn't he tell Ellie the truth about what happened?
  • Why doesn't he take her out of the hospital, then give her a real choice about coming back? Is he truly convinced she'd want to be vivisected? If the answer is yes, he's a monster. If the answer is no, he's an idiot. There's no good outcome for him. There isn't even an outcome that makes sense.
  • This whole 45 minutes was stupid, and an insult to the characters and the audience. The series would be better if they just chopped it off the end and threw it away. I'm serious.

That mid-season standalone episode is lovely but zombie stuff is pretty played out. Six out of ten disembodied zombie arms up.

Cyberpunk: Edgerunners (2023)

A throwback animation that wears its influences on its sleeve. Those influences being Akira and Ghost In The Shell mainly, each about 30 years old, so I suppose it's well past time for them to be resurrected in a form that assumes no familiarity with the originals, crossing the line from homage into the less classy terrain of rip-off. The developers of the series claim it's based on a recently released game (Cyberpunk 2077) which is in turn based on a vintage tabletop role-playing series (Cyberpunk 2020, from many years ago), so it makes sense to assume that any vintage elements come from the RPG, directly or indirectly. Nevertheless, what makes it onto the screen is so unnecessarily close to the plot, structure, and visual style of Akira and Ghost In the Shell that there isn't much new to see here.

The plot is "military corp experimenting on punk kids" of Akira wrapped in the "moody mercenary cyber gunfight" setting of Ghost In The Shell, stretched out over ten episodes. It delivers buttloads of action, getting more unreal and high-stakes with each round, and goes exactly where you'd expect, with no surprises or diversions along the way. Anyone familiar with the source material knows what that means: Our main character descends into body horror madness and almost everyone dies, and those that survive don't get a happy ending.

The action and the diverse character design kept me interested all the way through, even when the characters got boring. With four and a half hours to run around this world I was hoping for a deeper emotional dive, but I think the directors weren't confident enough to go there without losing their audience. Every character has the same motivation: Get rich or die trying. I guess they were pitching this for teenagers and had low expectations.

It would have been nice to explore deeper ideas about what it means to be human -- something the cyberpunk genre can do very well. The venerable Ghost In The Shell, usually remembered as an action movie, spends at least half its time in trippy interludes where the characters discuss their unease with who and what they are, and I miss that.

Six robotic fists up out of ten. Worth seeing, but definitely not essential.

The History Of The World Part II (2023)

This is a sequel to a movie, presented as eight episodes of television. So you're going from a fast-moving hour and a half, to four hours of padded comedy with lots of ad-libbing.

That's not as bad as it sounds. The comedians are all clearly enjoying themselves, and together they've managed to keep the feeling of middlebrow satire Brooks was aiming for in the original, but with the politics and sex scrupulously updated to account for the 30+ years of cultural evolution since the original film.

It wasn't enough to hold my attention directly, but it made for excellent casual viewing while I organized files or did housework. Plus, Wanda Sykes is freaking hilarious in anything.

Marvel's What If..? (2021)

I know too much about Marvel stuff, considering that superheroes were never really my thing. The only comic books I devoured as a teenager were ElfQuest and Johnny The Homicidal Maniac. The first is a self-serious high fantasy adventure starring a bunch of wolf-riding elves, and the second is a hyper-ironic cultural takedown of all things gothic and broody. I loved both. But superheroes were always somewhere in the boring middle for me, even the supposedly dark reinterpretations of them in the 90's. So how the hell did I end up watching so much Marvel crap?

I don't know. It feels like a fever dream at this point. I paid good money to see the same story told ten different ways. I could have gotten more story from ten episodes of Ducktales. What was I thinking?

Well, at least that giant pile of lore in my brain comes in handy for understanding what the heck is going on in this playful "What If" spinoff series. I chomped through it in two sittings, and somewhat out of order. Most of the time it managed to swerve away from the knee-jerk "what if the good guy is bad and the bad guy is good" premise, and there is a vague connection between most of the episodes to tie things together in the end. If you like Marvel crap, this series will shovel you some more. If you're not sure, you need to start somewhere else at least.

Five flappy capes out of ten.

The Boys Presents: Diabolical (2022)

The Boys is a guilty pleasure for me. I think it may have jumped the shark midway through season 3 and now I may be done with it, but it's still high on my list for being consistently either interesting or weird. "Diabolical" is a spinoff animated anthology, inviting various artists and directors to play around with the characters or invent their own in the same universe.

Sadly this was almost entirely forgettable for me. They led with the best episode and met that bar with the third episode, and I assume everyone else got paid pretty well and had a good time, but most of the stories were situation comedy setups with magical violence layered thickly on top. And that's on-brand for the series, I suppose, but I wanted more.

Half the pleasure in watching superheroes behaving badly is the feeling of hedonistic abandon you get as they indulge some stupid or dangerous urge that you feel in your daily life, without facing the usual consequences ... and then the other half of the pleasure is in watching them face hideous unforeseen consequences anyway, proving that you're better off being who you are. These stories try to deliver on that in various ways, and to my jaded eye, mostly fail.

Well, except for that first one. I love me a good Looney Tunes homage.

Four out of ten exploding piles of animated entrails up.

Monarch: Legacy Of Monsters (2023)

I came to this series looking for fancy creature designs. Like the titular organization, I wanted to get close to some giant atomic-powered monsters in strange locations and see what they could do. So, every time the writers stopped cold in the middle of an adventure to shovel me some trite character backstory, I got annoyed. By episode 4 I was skipping entire scenes of this junk so I could get back to the adventure and monsters.

I suppose I'm just in the wrong quadrant of the notorious four-quadrant viewer demographic (young male, young female, adult male, adult female) or something. Or perhaps I've wandered off that plane along some third axis. But I just cannot follow the emotional state of these characters. When they argue, which they do frequently and for inane reasons, every other line of dialogue just doesn't connect to what they appeared to be thinking a few seconds before.

It's as if the actors are working from a script that just says [ THEY ARGUE ] at regular intervals, so the director shoots 10 minutes of improv dialogue and hands it to the editor, who reduces it to 30 seconds of hash. Then there's an almost audible clunking noise as they pick up the plot where they left off. I wish there actually was a noise, or better yet, a symbol in the corner of the screen like those old film reel markers, so I could just drag the time slider to the end of [ THEY ARGUE ] and get back to the monster chasing.

The monster chasing is cool, though.

Also, when they get to San Francisco and start showing scenes around the city, I was constantly snickering at thoughts like, "That curb should be crammed full of cars. That coffee shop has far too much parking lot. That house has a deck in front of it; what? Dang, that bike needs a much better lock..." But hey, I guess they did their best, filming in Canada.

I mean, atomic-powered monsters? I'll suspend my disbelief for that. Half a street of open parking in San Francisco? PREPOSTEROUS!!

I wish I could recommend this series. I was expecting something else. Four giant monster footprints out of ten.

New seasons!

Foundation, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Good Omens, and Love Death And Robots all have new seasons out this year. All are worth watching. Get your butt in a seat, you have at least 30 hours of good media to watch.

garote: (programmer)

Writing that last set of mini-reviews was kinda fun, so I'm doing some more!

(A note on perspective: I'm a "gen-X"-aged person from the Bay Area, raised on a diet of Monty Python, Stephen King, and Ducktales. I assume your own tastes will vary.)

Guillermo Del Toro's Cabinet Of Curiosities (2022)

A horror anthology with a lot of range. All of these stories kept me watching, all of them had excellent visual effects, and some of them were emotionally cathartic as well. Watch them in any order, though I suggest you save “The Murmuring” for last, as it makes a nice emotional coda.

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier (2021)

To make money with your streaming service you need to load it up with enough exclusive junk that subscribers will be unable to consume it all in less than a few months. After that crucial window, your victims - er, customers - will tend to relax into the idea of being automatically billed for something they may or may not use.

Disney’s easiest path was to take characters in the Marvel and Star Wars universes, and create a bloated miniseries for whichever ones could be played by actors that didn’t charge too much for their time. Hence, this series, and many like it.

I watched it all the way through, and then it fell entirely out of my head. I remember some weightless superhero fight scenes, some easy moralizing about how the armed forces exploits disenfranchised people, a stab at blind patriotism and the glorification of war, and a few minor twists. The central conflict is over whether Sam Wilson - a Black man - is willing to assume the role of Captain America, which was offered to him by the previous Captain America. Does the whole idea of America suck so much that he’s got to turn it down? Or should he assume the role to try and remake that idea?

The most I can promise is that you’ll have a nice time watching it. These days that’s enough to raise a show above the streaming quality baseline.

Midnight Mass (2021)

Another scary series helmed by Mike Flanagan? Yes please! I had high hopes going into this, and came away with my hopes just a little bit dashed. As the viewer, you quickly get way ahead of all the characters in understanding what's going on, so you spend a lot of time waiting for each of them to have their big "a ha!" moment and do something dramatic, while various characters get grand monologues to fill out the runtime of the series. I want to say that was deliberate on Mike's part, since the main twist is generally not one you can conceal from a modern horror audience so you might as well just ignore it and talk about other things ... but the waiting here is sometimes exhausting. I won't give away the twist just in case you've never seen a horror movie, but it's no spoiler to say that Midnight Mass eviscerates old-time religion, and the way it preys on the disenfranchised and desperate, in a way that's been done countless times before. Nothing new there. Still, the tragic atmosphere, some of the conversations, and the smart camera work make the trip worthwhile overall.

Wandavision (2021)

All you need to know going in is that the title character Wanda ... Actually, wait, you don't even need to know that, and it may in fact be better if you don't. So feel free to wander into (see what I did there) this miniseries cold, even though it's part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and that generally means you need to know an encyclopedia's worth of characters and backstory to make sense of what you're seeing. You don't here. The main gimmick of the show is pretty daring, and it will keep you hooked until the larger arc of the plot transcends it. There are holes but you won't mind them. Plenty of zippy special effects and amusing parody moments. Worth seeing.

Mrs America (2020)

A fictionalized biography of a handful of big names from the Women's Rights movement, structured like a relay race where the plot hands off to a new character each episode. Phyllis Schlafly, Gloria Steinem, Shirley Chisholm, Betty Friedan, Bella Abzug, and more are represented here and it's thrilling to watch them maneuver and debate, and challenge the sexual politics that were absolutely dominant at the time and that still hold power in most of the country today. My favorite part of this show is the way the characters do not present a fully united front, making space between them to explore the different and even conflicting ideals of the movement. Very much worth seeing.

Good Omens (2019)

A series based on a collaboration between two beloved novelists, with a great comedic cast. You won’t find any new ideas to chew on - "angels and demons as bureaucrats" is a pretty old one, really - but you won’t mind since it’s the relationships and the absurd details that will keep you watching. I enjoyed season 1 and I hear there’s a season 2 on the way, but I’m a bit skeptical because the book was fully covered in the first season so the writers will be flying blind.

Lost In Space (2018)

This show has generated three seasons and wrapped itself up, so I’m pretty late reviewing it. If you’re run out of The Expanse and are perhaps looking for something a little more kid-friendly and lighter, this is a good choice. Parker Posey is a highlight in it, though she has a pretty thankless role as the only truly conflicted villain. The writers leaned on her character a bit too much to create tension, stealing time and energy away from the sci-if elements, and after a while it feels like they’re playing for time because they don’t know how to answer the questions they set up earlier in the show. So it’s a little bit like that show “Lost” ... but, you know ... ”In Space.”

That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime (2018)

If you googled this title, you're now asking: What the heck is an anime show pitched at little kids doing on your list of "worth seeing" television? Two reasons: It's likely you haven't heard of it, and it covers a lot of territory, so you can watch it and then skip almost everything else in its category.

That category is "portal story" -- so named because there are countless anime shows, going back at least 40 years, whose central premise is "ordinary person stumbles into a portal to another world, and must survive and learn life lessons there." Classic examples include "Escaflowne","El Hazard", and of course "Spirited Away." (Not an idea original to anime of course, with much older examples in Japanese literature.) Soon we will be blessed with the wackiest "portal story" yet: An anime adaptation of the novel series "Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon". That one is not on my list.

If all this is old news to you, then skip this show, because you're too familiar with the tropes to find them weird or entertaining enough. On the other hand, if your familiarity with anime stops at the films of Hayao Miyazaki, go ahead and start up season 1, though you may chafe at some of the more repressed and regressive parts of Japanese popular culture on display in later episodes. I'm willing to bet you'll like it for the same reason I did: It's a show where the protagonist resolves conflict through compromise, mercy, alliances, and generally being friendly. Things work out, people turn away from violence, and life gets better. And perhaps it's because I viewed it in the depths of the pandemic, but, I found that refreshing.

Fun fact: In May 2021 this series was added to the list of anime titles given a limited ban by the Russian government because it depicts reincarnation, apparently a taboo subject given the influence of the church. The Russian media landscape is about 2/3 digital piracy, though, so the ban has no real effect.

The Knick (2014)

The core of this show is an exploration of the early days of surgery as a legitimate medical practice. If you think that sounds weird and dull and a bit gross, you're right except that it's not dull. In addition to doctors inventing new instruments and arguing about technique you get a lot of contextualizing drama that explores the sexual and racial tensions of the time, as well as excellent period detail and scarily good special effects during the many surgical scenes.

And like any good show about the development of a science, things often go wrong and the characters have to scramble against unfolding disasters large and small, making for plenty of blood, and grimacing, and doctor's arms shoved up inside the guts of some unfortunate patient while they mutter things like "don't you dare die!". I should pick this up again. I've almost finished season 1, and I like what it's doing.

-;-;-

And now, some stuff I saw and didn't like, explained a bit:

Archive 81 (2022)

Many years ago there was a movie called the Blair Witch Project, which spawned a sequel that almost no one saw. The original film presented a long video recording and claimed it was an accurate record of real events, and the sequel tried to top the original by exploring the idea of video recordings that directly contradicted the memories of the people featured in them. Which do you believe? Your own memory, or the apparent objective truth in the recording, showing you doing something else? Perhaps some supernatural force is corrupting one or both?

The idea was cool, but the sequel had other problems that made it kind of suck. It's the same deal with Archive 81: It's a "found footage" situation with a supernatural element, it takes a few stabs at the unreliable narrator thing, ... and it has problems that make it kind of suck. It moves way too slow, and it never digs into the ideas it presents. After three or four episodes this feels deliberate: Whenever the two protagonists ask serious questions or try to pry under the lid of what's going on, the script derails them with inane dramatic conflict or a contrived emergency. The writers must have been confident that they could dribble out answers for half a dozen seasons, but instead the show was canceled after one, and it's obvious why. I watched the whole thing and I regret it.

The Haunting Of Bly Manor (2020)

It would have been great if Mike Flanagan came back for the follow-up to The Haunting Of Hill House, investing in the idea of an anthology telling long-form stories about haunted places every couple of years. But the deal went sideways, and he handed the project almost entirely over to other directors. The result is seriously underwhelming. Stretched out over too many episodes, not as thematically focused, and eventually over-explained. Do this instead: Watch episode 8 by itself, which tells the story of the central ghost with a massive out-of-context flashback. Then ditch all the other episodes. You could follow that up with the 1961 film "The Innocents" for a double dose of creepy, and cover all the plot points of Bly Manor at the same time. And you'd have six hours to spare!

Another Life (2019) and The 'Mars' National Geographic Series (2016)

Some science fiction shows create dramatic stakes by having highly professional people do outrageously stupid things. Like, here's three people, specially selected for a mission to save the entire damn planet, and they all know how important it is to communicate clearly and be on the same page and cooperate. But then, the first one has sex with the other two, and the other two get jealous, so one of them decides to withhold vital information that causes the third to be horribly injured and the whole mission is suddenly in jeopardy and everyone has to scramble.

That's not a direct example from Another Life or this Mars series, but it's the kind of thing that happens over and over in both, and it's exasperating. I can't be all 'Wow, we're on Mars, look at this cool landscape and nifty survival gear' because the main characters are too busy double-crossing each other, keeping secrets, ignoring really obvious safety protocols, and so-on. At least the Mars drama is intercut with real scientists talking earnestly about contemporary issues. The Another Life show throws modern science in the ditch. I can't recommend either.

garote: (megaman 5 fortress)

These are in rough order with better ones later, though I consider all of them worth seeing:

Love, Death & Robots: An uneven series, but when it hits, it's great. Worth seeing but not a high priority.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: The sci-fi plots here are often undercooked and over-explained. This is balanced out by really fun visual effects and a cast that works pretty hard to sell the material. Hopefully it will get better.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I kept wanting to like it more than I did. Drags in the beginning, and takes some questionable detours, but it delivers on the bad-ass confrontation you're hoping for in the end, and that redeems it.

Raised By Wolves: Intriguing for about half of its runtime in Season 1, with intriguing character design and a Lost-style central mystery that doesn't quite make sense. Worth seeing. Then it goes off the rails completely. Haven't bothered to start Season 2.

Hawkeye: Relatively self-contained as these Marvel shows go. Hawkeye is the most grounded of the Avenger characters, and this series uses that to good effect. Worth seeing.

ZeroZeroZero: A sort of family drama wrapped around an examination of the international drug trade. The characters keep it interesting and the narrative is very focused, but some of the situations late in the series really strain credulity. Still worth seeing.

Peacemaker: Jokey, messy, stylish, and full of band-of-misfits drama. If you like what James Gunn does, this is more of the same. Worth watching but not a priority.

The Rings of Power: Fun to revisit this world in cinematic form, but the middle episodes drag, and the entire series suffers from lackluster action direction. The camera is always in the most obvious place, shooting the most obvious thing in the most obvious way. For comparison, think about the opening sequence of The Two Towers, which is absolute visual poetry. Rings of Power is not a "must see" so much as "obligatory seeing".

9-11: One Day In America: A well-constructed documentary telling the story of a few well-chosen survivors of the 9-11 tragedy. It's hard to believe so many years have passed since the incident, because some of the video used in this series is the same stuff I saw 20 years ago and it's still burned into my head from the first time.

The Book of Boba Fett: Underrated, I thought. I enjoyed it all the way through, even though it's basically a pulpy space western that doesn't stray from the very wholesome terrain that all Disney's Star Wars stuff is in nowadays. Zero sex, almost zero romance, bloodless violence, some light moral philosophizing, bonehead obvious Good and Bad guys, ... you know the drill.

Foundation: Not really faithful to the book, but whatever. Good visual effects and some nice chewy sci-fi concepts. Weirdly uneven pacing and direction sometimes. Worth seeing.

Dopesick: Very hard to watch if you are, or know someone who is, dealing with addiction. But also fairly cathartic for the same reason, because it reminds you that you are far from the only person going through this struggle. The jumbled timeline doesn't do it any favors though.

The Mandalorian: Pulpy space western, yep. More humor than the other Disney Star Wars stuff. Keeps to a more episodic feel, which works well.

Black Mirror: Some episodes are dumb and predictable, others are excellent and will stick with you for months. Hard to tell what you're gonna get each time.

The Haunting Of Hill House: A memorable and creepy series that hangs together very well, using the supernatural to dig effectively around in themes of addiction, depression, and loss. Several of the gimmicks it uses are ingenious and stuck with me long after the show ended.

Stranger Things: Focused and relatively low-stakes in the first season, and very charming. Worth seeing. Season 2 is a bit more uneven but more visually compelling. Season 3 is self-indulgent and bloated with too many characters, but still good. Season 4 ... Haven't felt compelled to see it.

For All Mankind: As it goes, it gets less and less about the premise and more about the various dramatic conflicts the characters have. I enjoyed Season 1, found Season 2 to be overstuffed with drama I didn't care about, and have barely made a dent in Season 3. There is one character in particular who gets way too much screen time in Season 2 just blundering through their personal idiocy, including an affair with a person half their age that bleeds well over into Season 3, and I'm rather sick of it. I don't know if I care enough to continue, even though I like the premise of the show and where it's going.

Loki: Lots of fun. Glad we got to spend more time with Loki, even if the premise doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Worth seeing.

Chernobyl: A riveting and often terrifying dramatic recreation, and also an excellent starting point for digging further into the titular disaster and its (literal and metaphorical) fallout.

"Why worry about something that isn't going to happen?"

"Why worry about ... Oh, that's perfect. They should put that on our money."

The Boys: Twisted and full of bizarrely satisfying moments, with tons of cool gross-out effects. Definitely worth seeing, but not healthy as binge material because the nihilism beats you down after a while. The good guys never really win, and the bad guys never find redemption, and things always end up sucking, and everyone hates and betrays everyone else, over and over. But the satire is strong, and the show can be surprisingly funny as well.

Rick And Morty: Some episodes just meander around in old sci-fi concepts while cracking modern jokes, but a surprising amount of the time the show builds on sci-fi concepts in ways that are downright impressive. Universally praised for its writing, and rightly so. If you don't know where to start, watch Season 2, Episode 4, and THEN start from the beginning of the series.

The Expanse: A nesting-doll set of sci-fi concepts, one or two per season, with more than the usual attention paid to scientific plausibility. Always several things going on at once, lots of character development, pretty dang good visual effects... Just an all-around good show. Definitely worth seeing.

Things I've seen and do not recommend:

  • Archive 81
  • Another Life
  • The Haunting Of Bly Manor
  • Mars (National Geographic series)

Things I haven't seen and probably won't:

  • House of the Dragon
  • Westworld
  • The Umbrella Academy
  • The Wheel of Time
  • American Gods
  • The Witcher
  • Knightfall
  • The Leftovers
  • See
  • Devs
  • Cursed
  • Tales From The Loop
  • The Handmaid's Tale
  • Timeless
  • Counterpart
  • The Last Kingdom
  • His Dark Materials
  • Tribes of Europa
  • Beforeigners
  • Valhalla

Things I haven't seen and might:

  • Andor
  • Shining Girls
  • Squid Game
  • Russian Doll
  • Moon Knight
  • What We Do In The Shadows
  • Guillermo Del Toro's Cabinet Of Curiosities
  • The Underground Railroad
garote: (conan what)
Andrew: "I'm thinking of moving to Crockett.  Does that make me white?"
Garrett: "I admit Crockett is a honky-ass sounding name."
Andrew: "Yes, there should be a 70's TV show called "Crockett and Gooch", and of course Crockett drives a pickup and wears cowboy boots."
Garrett: "And Gooch is an orangutan."
Andrew: "That drives a Trans-Am."
Garrett: "And at the end of every episode, Crockett lights up a cigar and Gooch smacks it out of his mouth."

"Next week on Crockett and The Gooch:  Crockett goes undercover to bust up an animal smuggling ring, and Gooch is incognito at the zoo. Can they catch the tiger by the tail before Gooch becomes a stuffed animal?  Don't miss this ape's Great Escape!  Wednesdays at six, on K-DIC:  Your local loss leader."
garote: (Default)

How many of you kids remember watching after-school cartoons, and seeing episodes of a serial called "The Mysterious Cities of Gold"? Perhaps your memory will be jogged if I reproduce the theme song, which transcends genres as a unique blend of latin pop and lyrical sophistication. It goes like so:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Someday we will find
The cities of gold!

[ repeat ]

Some nutjob collected every episode of this polished turd on VHS tapes, which must have suffered heavy bit-rot in a dark closet next to a power station for ten years before said nutjob embarked on part two of his fiendish plot, which was to vid-cap them all to badly compressed digital files and chuck them up onto the internet. Like a hapless goon I blundered across the Bittorrent archive, and downloaded the whole stinking collection -- 39 episodes -- to my work machine overnight.

It is the destiny of archives like these to languish. So it languished on my personal hard drive for about a year before I suffered an acute seizure of poor judgement and started browsing the episodes, skipping around in the series like one might poke at a malodorous guttersnipe with a long stick - morbidly curious, vaguely ashamed at the activity, yet unable to stop until some response is evoked.

What did the cartoon evoke? Memories of sunny afternoons, pencil-and-paper homework assignments, and junk food. I recall experiencing a sharp interest in what the next episode would reveal, and whether the three child protagonists would ever actually locate the fabled city, or just keep tooling around South America in their giant golden condor-bot. Looking at the show with adult eyes, I make different observations, of course: The animation is herky-jerky, the music is shrill and repetitive, and the plot seems to bear a grudge against common sense - when it's not busy brutalizing history or being stridently racist. The biggest question I found myself asking at the end of my sordid plunge into the archive was this: How could I have been so captivated by such a god-awful cartoon?

And yet, my thirst for bad television had not been slaked. So I pulled something else out of the archives: "The Chronicles of Riddick".

This is a movie with something to say. It's saying, "I really really wish I was Dune!" Unfortunately, all it can pull off is the motif. For those of you unfamiliar with the David Lynch movie adaptation of "Dune" way back in 1984, the motif was essentially LeSabres In Space. The production designers grafted that onto this Riddick film, in order to conceal its badness. It's not science fiction at all - though at the least, it did involve a lot of computers, to accurately render every spacefaring LeSabre, Wurlitzer, and Frigidaire. Plus there are zombies in diving suits with Playstation joypads growing out of their butts. They're used as bloodhounds by the bad guys, ... because using regular bloodhounds wouldn't be ... uh ... science-fictiony.

Yeeeah. So then I made a big mistake: I went to bed. I had a dream that an evil gang of goth stormtroopers was using a joypad-enabled zombie in a diving suit to navigate the busy streets of 15th-century London, in search of the entrance to the Mysterious Cities of Gold. I played the part of a young boy, whose spirit was concealed from harm inside a robot butler. I had a necklace that would unlock the doors to the ancient city, when combined with the matching necklace that my sister wore. She, too, was concealed from the bad guys, by having her spirit transferred into the family dog. We both lived in tiny houses on top of long flimsy poles that swayed in the wind. I was first to leave my house, sliding down the pole with my metal robot hands, and I was the first to locate the evil stormtrooper gang. I lobbed a grenade at their pathfinding zombie and he exploded into confetti bits, but then the bits began to whirl back together. How could I stop the wicked gang? By having a diving contest with my family members, who lived at the top of a treehouse! Of course.

Apparently the media was too bad even for my subconscious to handle, so it promptly crapped it into my dreams. Lesson learned: No bad TV before bedtime.

hrmmmm

Feb. 4th, 2003 02:10 am
garote: (viking)
Yeah, so the Japanese have singing toilets. Why do so many Gaijin not get this? A toilet that makes noise will obscure the impolite sounds of excretion. I used to date a girl who played the radio really loud in the bathroom for this same purpose.

So my housemates were loafing on the couch the other day in front of the television. While I was in my room organizing my notes, I heard them making snide comments at a show that was all about the "white trash" sport of lawnmower racing. "That is so stupid," one exclaimed, fascinated. "What complete dorks," the other agreed. This abuse continued as they watched the program right to the end.

At first I was irritated beyond all reasonable proportions. These two people were camped in front of the television, as they are for hours every single day, casting aspersions at a show about lawnmower racing? Who are the "dorks" in this arrangement? The dorks on the lawnmowers, or the dorks passively mocking the dorks on the lawnmowers?

But quickly I realized that now, I was behaving in an even stupider fashion. Now, I had become a dork, complaining about the dorks, who were complaining about the dorks riding lawnmowers on the television. This was bad.

So I shifted gears and decided that the true focus of my hate should be the television. Then I realized that all this moral tap-dancing was distracting me from my notes. And then, I realized the greater dilemma.

I have, essentially, three options.
  1. I can follow my first impulse, and call my housemates dorks for watching dorks on TV, when they could be out playing street hockey or something. They'd be angry, I'd be angry, and our living situation would become tense and combative.
  2. I can follow my second impulse, and seethe about what a lurid pathetic device I think the television is, which would only be half true in my heart -- but I would keep my mouth shut about it, and seethe internally, in order to maintain the harmony of the household.
  3. I could forget about it, and the habits of my housemates, entirely, and just get back to my notes. Perhaps I could request they change the channel, or turn on some music of my own.
Option three is the most adequate solution, but it's a trick of discipline. I can't allow myself the pleasure of feeling superior to my housemates. Nor would it be a good use of my time to embark on some quest to convince them to watch less damned television; it's not my business, and it's a quest that is almost certainly doomed because they're just too old to change their habits now.

Perhaps if they were teenagers, or younger, I would make some offhand comment about how television is reaming out their minds like lemons being twisted on the nipple of an old-fashioned juicer, how they're spending what are potentially the most active eras of their single lives sitting down, saying nothing. ... But really, what's the point of all that? They're comfortable in their habits, and I have no use for them.

And yet, my own behavior is far from perfect. I've spent a lot of time sifting through media myself, especially recently. And now, in my own journal, I've wasted my time adding to the shouting match of "dorks", pointing my finger like everyone else. In this regard, I have failed.
garote: (Default)
Checklist:
  1. Network cable through wall to DSL modem in workshop closet.
  2. PPP-Over-Ethernet software
  3. DSL authentication information
  4. Extra USB hub to extend range of optical mouse
  5. Easy chair in front of monitor
  6. Latest Mozilla 0.9.8 build, custom configured
  7. FTP connection software
  8. Livejournal posting software
  9. Wireless keyboard transponder placed within range
  10. Rock polisher temporarily off
  11. Small portable music device playing Fixed, Severed Heads, Nine Inch Nails, and Braindead Monkeys
  12. Frosty Weinhard's Root Beer, uncapped
  13. Friends and neighbors asleep
  14. Warm fuzzy cat
A baggedy old woman has created a public television show. She wears cheap clothing and rambles into a karaoke mike. Her vapid guest following, consumed with the novelty act, jumps at the chance to participate.

I know a girl who watches this show in rapt attention. Whenever she can, she attends the live taping. She loves to talk about the baggedy old woman, and her latest foray into tastelessness. Last weekend, her friend went to the front of the room and licked peanut butter off the woman's chest. The episode airs next weekend.

I think these northern people are missing out on a crucial piece of wisdom that becomes very clear if you live in the Los Angeles area for a while. It concerns television especially. I can't even begin to estimate the damage that the misunderstanding has caused, not just in local culture, but all over the world.

It is this: The things that the people on TV do are not necessarily any more worthwhile than the things that you can do. The things people on TV say are not necessarily any more truthful than the things you can say.

Now, it's easy to read past that and misinterpret it. So I'd like to slow down here with an example.

If you're "lucky" enough to get the cable coverage in your area, you might have access to a television show called "Elimidate". In it, three women go out with one man, all together, and the man drops all but one of the women over the course of the evening, based on their behavior.

Inevitably, the three women are sexually aggressive, vitriolic airheads, and the single man is a smarmy misogynist dick. The man mutters lines that the producers feed him, escorts his harem from backyard jacuzzis to dank bars to paid-endorsement restaurants in a video-tapped limousine, and, inevitably, goes for the least invidious doe-eyed girlie with the biggest rack.

Now, I could pound rubber at a gym and saw out half my brain, and go do the things that Mister Smarmy does, and chase after the least invidious doe-eyed girlie with the biggest rack I can find ... But I can also shut off the fucking television, walk into the other room, and reorganize my bookshelf. Or I can cut up lettuce and make myself a salad. Or I can dial up android606 on the phone and ask him technical questions about PPP-Over-Ethernet. Just because a misogynist dick got on TV, doesn't mean he's doing anything more sensible than what I can do, let alone something that I should stop what I'm doing in order to watch him do it.

OH GOOD LORD BUT IT'S ON TEEE VEEEEEE!

My sister watches this show; I think because it has a kind of grim fascination for her. Yes, the world is actually populated with men and women who are that shallow. Who insult each other to their faces over their choice in shoes. Who "JUST WANNA PARTY", hell or high water.

And that's a funny bit, there, because a lot of L.A. is enourmously concerned with "PARTYING", and entirely unaware of their own self-defeating crassness. Do they ever imagine living in a community that doesn't obsess over how things appear? One that assumes a trust in your fellow citizen's ability to discern legitimate value for themselves, instead of seeing any deviation from normalcy as an opportunity to strike? I don't think they ever imagine it, because it doesn't occur to them that things could be different. The self-interested hypocrisy that Ayn Rand wrote novels about is an inseperable fact to this community. They take it with them when they travel.

Or perhaps I'm simply reading too much of an ex-girlfriend into her home town. >:)

People are people wherever you go, and some of my best friends and family members are from the L.A. area. I'm not going to declare that everyone in L.A. is one thing or the other. But the culture, it has a stink. When your home town is the largest manufacturer of shit in the universe, you pretty much have no choice but to make peace with, or even take pride in, that shit. Show me a person who lives in L.A. and doesn't own a television, and I'll show you a beleaguered heretic.

But anyway, I digress. It becomes clear. Stephen King refers to the television as the "glass tit". I spent my childhood awash in a sea of information, as any computer geek does, but somewhere in the process I learned that I needed borders. I couldn't just let any old shit flow in, or out, at any old time. So I made choices, and fitted doors. Somehow those decisions stuck.

I remember deciding one day that I would find short haired girls more attractive. A dozen years later, it's a fact. I don't know how that worked.

So this girl watches public television and croons over the baggedy old woman. She talks about her, she tapes each episode, she smokes on the front steps. She drives the industry from the bottom. I had a dream the other night that the woods behind my old house were a poisonous alien jungle, and if you walked far enough, jumped the knobby plants and the silvery creek, dodged the tentacles, the probing worms, and the monstrous black ants that could bite your hands through, you emerged in a frozen crystal landscape, all reflective panes and drifting ice, howling wind over your head, and a flowing amber predawn horizon that cut like fire through the walls. How did this get in my head? Why do I emerge from this, every goddamn morning, and find myself alive in the world of baggedy old public access shows, and dimwit culture flunkies who accidentally stopped thinking when they were seven years old, and don't remember how to start again?

Pardon my anger, but I'm at a difficult period in my existence. Various people keep telling me to find some girl, who also "doesn't have the time", and have zany sex on weekends or something, to calm my nerves.

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