How hot IS it in Sacramento?
Jul. 14th, 2016 05:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
garoteAndy and I are trying to find the best way to express it:
"There's no more sin in Sacramento. It's so hot, Satan couldn't stand it."
"I heard there's a sequel to "The Core". This time, they're traveling to the center of the Earth -- to get out of Sacramento."
"I would be happy about the sun finally going behind the trees, if it hadn't caught them on fire."
"I'm sweating so much that for once, they're going to have to worry about the levies collapsing IN."
"Utah loses millions a year in salt mining business because Californians just drive to Sacramento and scrape it of the park benches."
"Oh, I know! Tourism is booming. They're calling it "Death Valley II"."
"Sacramento traps so much heat during the day that spacecraft routinely mistake it for a volcano at night."
"Rocket scientists are attempting to use Sacramento as a replacement for solid boosters."
"I no longer have a shadow. Last year I visited Sacramento and it shriveled up and died on the sidewalk. There's a permanent smudge there now. I visited the site this year and left flowers. They evaporated."
"Sacramento’s so hot that the city issued a safety warning about farting outdoors."
"The city of Sacramento repealed the law about asbestos so they could wrap the gas stations in it."
"Being in Sacramento voids the warranty on all major brand fire extinguishers."
"Nice thing about Sacramento: The birds still crap in flight, but it burns up before it can hit you. And when they land, you get a free rotisserie chicken."
"In Sacramento you can use pepper spray as sunblock, and it helps."
"They used to call it "River City" before the rivers boiled away. Now they just call it Ity. Not even the LETTER C can stand it there."
"You don’t have to be mummified to live here, but it helps. And eventually it happens anyway."
"It's so hot here, it's accelerated the inevitable heat death of the universe."
"Scientists have puzzled for years about why black holes emit fountains of radiation from each axis. Turns out it’s because they all lead to Sacramento."
"There's no more sin in Sacramento. It's so hot, Satan couldn't stand it."
"I heard there's a sequel to "The Core". This time, they're traveling to the center of the Earth -- to get out of Sacramento."
"I would be happy about the sun finally going behind the trees, if it hadn't caught them on fire."
"I'm sweating so much that for once, they're going to have to worry about the levies collapsing IN."
"Utah loses millions a year in salt mining business because Californians just drive to Sacramento and scrape it of the park benches."
"Oh, I know! Tourism is booming. They're calling it "Death Valley II"."
"Sacramento traps so much heat during the day that spacecraft routinely mistake it for a volcano at night."
"Rocket scientists are attempting to use Sacramento as a replacement for solid boosters."
"I no longer have a shadow. Last year I visited Sacramento and it shriveled up and died on the sidewalk. There's a permanent smudge there now. I visited the site this year and left flowers. They evaporated."
"Sacramento’s so hot that the city issued a safety warning about farting outdoors."
"The city of Sacramento repealed the law about asbestos so they could wrap the gas stations in it."
"Being in Sacramento voids the warranty on all major brand fire extinguishers."
"Nice thing about Sacramento: The birds still crap in flight, but it burns up before it can hit you. And when they land, you get a free rotisserie chicken."
"In Sacramento you can use pepper spray as sunblock, and it helps."
"They used to call it "River City" before the rivers boiled away. Now they just call it Ity. Not even the LETTER C can stand it there."
"You don’t have to be mummified to live here, but it helps. And eventually it happens anyway."
"It's so hot here, it's accelerated the inevitable heat death of the universe."
"Scientists have puzzled for years about why black holes emit fountains of radiation from each axis. Turns out it’s because they all lead to Sacramento."
no subject
Date: 2020-09-11 02:41 am (UTC)Interesting. Somehow every time we are in Sacramento, it's 4th of July, and we spend the evening in the pool; the water is not as hot as e.g. Pacific in Puerto Vallarta.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-11 04:16 am (UTC)So the existence of an abnormally hot place means that the heat death is still far away.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-11 06:34 pm (UTC)