Being a jerky little kid to my parents was my specialty

[garote]

DAD: "The biggest challenge facing the U.S. today is... Heh Heh..." (Pause)
"Why did you put that 'Heh Heh' there?"
ME: "Because that's what you said."
DAD: "I only said it becuse I was waiting for you to catch up!"
ME: "I'm typing everything you say."
DAD: "What? Why?"
ME: "Because that's how I've decided to do the interview!"
DAD: "I don't like that. Erase the 'Heh Heh'"
ME: "Why?"
DAD: "Just make it like a normal interview, okay?"
ME: (*sigh*) "Okay, fine. There."

- - - - - - - - - - -

1. The biggest challenge facing the U.S. today is the drug problem.

2. It is the biggest problem because of the terrible consequences of drug
use, and it's apparent increase.

3. The challenge can be met by continued education aimed at keeping young
people away from drugs and strenuous consistent enforcement of drug laws.

- - - - - - - - - - -

ME: "Okay!"
DAD: "What?"
ME: "We're done!"
DAD: "That's all?!"
ME: "Yep!"
DAD: "I thought it was supposed to be a big long interview!"
Me: "Nope. Only three questions."
DAD: "Hah!" (Turns around.)
"Sonya!" (Waits for reply)
"Soooooonya!"
MOM: "What?"
DAD: "Come over here."
MOM: "What?!"
DAD: "Right here. Stand in front of me."
MOM: "Why?"
DAD: "Because I want you to help me up!!"
ME: (Saving the file) (Snicker snicker!)
MOM: "Hah hah hah! You can get yourself up dear!"
DAD: "Grumble... Oooomph!" (Stands up, begins to walk upstairs)
MOM: "Garrett?"
ME: "Yeah?"
MOM: "See?" (Holds up sweater she has just finished knitting for me-- It looks great)
ME: "Wow!"
MOM: "Try it on! See if it fits!"

etc...

(END OF INTERVIEW)

Comments

[juan_gandhi]

Oh, so cute. Your father never guessed, I think, that he was repeating a propaganda aimed at raising the price of drugs and keeping the blacks awake. (That's of course just my private opinion... but the views were coming from newspapers-induced moral panic anyway.)

Ok, what I would say. Education. That was the problem, and still is.

[garote]

I think his perspective was mostly from being a high-school teacher for 30+ years.

At the time (1989) there was this vague concept of "drugs", into which pot, LSD, MDMA, and various forms of heroin were indiscriminately lumped. We were effectively a suburban family and didn't know jack about most of those, and the idea of legalization paired with recovery and support was considered "surrender" in the "drug war".

[juan_gandhi]

Yes; I vaguely remember all this shit.
But you did great. Like that Monty Python interview of Lenin and Marx.