Collected from the alt.tasteless.jokes newsgroup as it passed through the UCSC news server

[garote]

An edited list of "advice from guys to girls". Consider this a time capsule for 1998.

1. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.
2. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving your contempt.
3. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick.
4. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny.
5. Money does not equate to love. Not even in Nevada.
6. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay.
7. You know, YOU can ask HIM out, too. Let's spread the rejection around a little!
8. If you truly want honesty, try to avoid asking questions you don't really want answers to.
9. Corollary to the above: If he asks, he is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met.
10. And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones.
11. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.
12. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (e.g., microwaving a burrito, fixing spaghetti, etc.) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
13. If you want a satisfying sex life, please don't ever fake an orgasm.
14. That Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in the shower.
15. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine, looks fine/smells bad, looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.