(no subject)
Jun. 1st, 2002 02:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
garoteI think I figured it out. It's hubris, motivated by fear. That's what I was detecting, that I felt unsettled by.
Crazy thoughts go through my head. My dreams are vivid, surreal, and complex, every single night. My imagination can twist and fold around some of the most difficult concepts, and catch some of the most subtle things.
But you know? My whole family is like this. It's par for the freaking course. I've been lucky enough to meet a large number of people whose inner worlds are just as novel as mine. And we generally have too many vital things to talk about, to waste time slapping each other on the back and declaring how clever we are. I appreciate that a great deal. It keeps me focused, and keeps my ego from galloping away with my soul.
When someone respects you, and values you, you can tell. And it generally has nothing to do with how brainy and introspective they are. I declare that a person's ability to value others is more a matter of humility than a matter of brains.
Who cares if they tell fantastic tales about the beauty of their mind. If they don't have the common decency to return your phone calls, or the neccessary politeness to put their thoughts in order for you, forget 'em. They're too busy with hubris. Hubris -- encouraged by the common-or-garden variety fear that everyone, everywhere, ever, has experienced.
Oops, it's bedtime
Crazy thoughts go through my head. My dreams are vivid, surreal, and complex, every single night. My imagination can twist and fold around some of the most difficult concepts, and catch some of the most subtle things.
But you know? My whole family is like this. It's par for the freaking course. I've been lucky enough to meet a large number of people whose inner worlds are just as novel as mine. And we generally have too many vital things to talk about, to waste time slapping each other on the back and declaring how clever we are. I appreciate that a great deal. It keeps me focused, and keeps my ego from galloping away with my soul.
When someone respects you, and values you, you can tell. And it generally has nothing to do with how brainy and introspective they are. I declare that a person's ability to value others is more a matter of humility than a matter of brains.
Who cares if they tell fantastic tales about the beauty of their mind. If they don't have the common decency to return your phone calls, or the neccessary politeness to put their thoughts in order for you, forget 'em. They're too busy with hubris. Hubris -- encouraged by the common-or-garden variety fear that everyone, everywhere, ever, has experienced.
Oops, it's bedtime
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Oh Hell Yeah
Date: 2002-06-01 04:36 am (UTC)Fuckin' A.
Re: Oh Hell Yeah
Date: 2002-06-01 01:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-06-01 01:06 pm (UTC)Funny how everyone used to see it as some kind of true underground movement. Now goths make the front page news, star in movies, and run companies.
But lo! The dancing remains exactly the same! :)
See you at sushi!
no subject
Date: 2002-06-07 10:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-06-08 03:27 pm (UTC)Garote, hrm, maybe garrote, a tool and method of torture and strangulation?
Was that you intention?
no subject
Date: 2002-06-08 06:28 pm (UTC)Back in the late 80's I dialed a Bulletin Board called "XBBS", for eXchange BBS. It was a tree-structured discussion system, self-moderated by it's users, and very friendly. Comparable to LiveJournal.
A guy who called himself ARMORED SAINT used to post there a lot. One day we met at a BBS mixer barbeque, and I told him my name. He misspelled it as GAROTE a few times in subsequent postings.
And thus, the nickname was born.
He misspelled my friend Scott's name as SKOT. That stuck too. He also mistook Andrew for ANDROID, though perhaps that was intentional, and _that_ nickname stuck too. Hence, my friends Skot and Android.
Huh
Date: 2002-06-18 09:08 am (UTC)Dating
Date: 2002-06-18 08:59 am (UTC)Interesting. This reminds me of high school, when I was first dating. I kind of liked a girl I had recently met, and she had given me her phone number. I wanted to call her because... well... I wanted to talk to her. But my friend counseled me against it, telling me that I needed to wait a couple of days. I eventually learned that there's this whole ettiquette about when you're supposed to call someone, at what times, & under what circumstances, how you're supposed to act on the phone, and how & when you're supposed to ask her on a date. I remember having a feeling of astoundment, like your jaw dropping. And I thought about it that night. And some the next week (I never did call the girl -- that was mostly fear. No hubris, really, just fear). And you know what I realized?
It's BULLSHIT. Yes, the etiquette exists, and yes, it's expected to be followed, and, yes, frankly, you'll probably get more sex if you follow it. But that's not what I'm into. I'm into the idea of a real relationship, thank you very much. If I want to call a person, I'll call them. I want a real person, someone who knows me for me, and I refuse to hide myself behind my hubris and fear of what the person will think of me. Not even for sex. :)
Does my method work? Well, I think so. Virtually every love story that exists follows this method. More importantly, though (at least to me) is the fact that I'm quite happily married, now, and have been for the last 6 years. And it's with the first girl I ever even kissed.
Re: Dating
Date: 2002-06-18 03:18 pm (UTC)There's a massive contingent of people in the world who have determined for themselves that, provided they can get regular sex or regular material support, they have no need of a regular relationship. Just the quick occasional itch scratching or handout, and it's back to the fjords.
Several of those dating procedures exist in order to flush these people out, and turn them away. I can agree with those. It's a jungle out there, and very few people are clever enough to sneak into someone's head and figure out what they're after, like you and I can, B. Most people just ride the framework of dating etiquette and hope for the best.
On the other hand, I think the majority of dating procedures exist because of our culture, and it's widespread immaturity and schizophrenia with regard to sex.
Case in point. A while ago I had a conversation with someone who had convinced herself that ALL men were sex fiends, who just wanted to use her, and move on. Therefore, she reasoned, any man who approached her and professed a sexual attraction for her, should be avoided no matter what he seemed to be otherwise. ... No matter how smart or polite or romantic he was, be was obviously just faking it, faking everything, in order to yank her into bed at the earliest opportunity. And his sexual interest proved that.
So how do men react to this, in the dating world? They pretend that sex doesn't matter to them, to avoid sounding the alarm bells in her head. They want intimacy, and fun, and romance, just as much as anything else ... but part of them also wants hot sweaty monkey sex, and that part must be stuffed into a box and hurled into the back of the freezer for a while, lest they scare the girl away.
That, in a nutshell, is what 90% of dating is about. In my humble opinion.
And finding someone of either sex who doesn't think within these contradictory guidelines can be a real chore.
Re: Dating
Date: 2002-06-19 08:39 am (UTC)I do understand and agree with what you're saying; I'm just glad I don't have to be a part of it.