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From: "Girdle Popper" <G_Popper@Hotmail.Com>
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Subject: Rules On How To Be A Man!
Date: 27 Jun 1998 20:24:33 GMT
Message-ID: <01bda207$4ddde360$8cd331cf@mypc.tds.net>
1. Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and unoriginal, like "Spike."
2. You are a man. Remember, no matter what, it isn't your fault.
3. Never ask for help. Even if you really need it, don't ask. People will think you have no penis.
4. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.
5. Don't call, ever. If, God forbid, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only monosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are permissible.
6. Deny everything. Everything.
7. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at anything, either pretend it's not true or beat them up.
8. At any given oppertunity, point out how things look like genitalia.
9. Say things like "Wha...?"
10. You are NOT a virgin, ever. Males are born without virginity.
11. If your woman makes you go shopping with her, drive around until a parking spot right near the door opens up. If this takes hours, so be it: You will have the coveted "Door Spot" and others will worship you.
12. If you're ever forced to show emotion, just pick a random one, like rage, lust, or insanity, and display it at a random, inconvenient time. You won't be asked to do it again.
13. If you are asked to do something you don't want to do, first try your manly best to get out of it. If that doesn't work, go ahead and do what you were asked, but complain that you don't know how to do it and continuously ask questions on how to do each tiny part. If no one rushes in to do it for you yet, finish the job in the most half-assed way you possibly can and then yell "See? I TOLD you I couldn't do it." Eventually people will stop asking you to do things.
From: "Girdle Popper" <G_Popper@Hotmail.Com>
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Subject: Rules On How To Be A Man!
Date: 27 Jun 1998 20:24:33 GMT
Message-ID: <01bda207$4ddde360$8cd331cf@mypc.tds.net>
1. Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and unoriginal, like "Spike."
2. You are a man. Remember, no matter what, it isn't your fault.
3. Never ask for help. Even if you really need it, don't ask. People will think you have no penis.
4. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.
5. Don't call, ever. If, God forbid, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only monosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are permissible.
6. Deny everything. Everything.
7. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at anything, either pretend it's not true or beat them up.
8. At any given oppertunity, point out how things look like genitalia.
9. Say things like "Wha...?"
10. You are NOT a virgin, ever. Males are born without virginity.
11. If your woman makes you go shopping with her, drive around until a parking spot right near the door opens up. If this takes hours, so be it: You will have the coveted "Door Spot" and others will worship you.
12. If you're ever forced to show emotion, just pick a random one, like rage, lust, or insanity, and display it at a random, inconvenient time. You won't be asked to do it again.
13. If you are asked to do something you don't want to do, first try your manly best to get out of it. If that doesn't work, go ahead and do what you were asked, but complain that you don't know how to do it and continuously ask questions on how to do each tiny part. If no one rushes in to do it for you yet, finish the job in the most half-assed way you possibly can and then yell "See? I TOLD you I couldn't do it." Eventually people will stop asking you to do things.
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no subject
Date: 2015-06-07 05:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-06-07 05:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-06-07 07:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-06-07 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-06-07 04:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-06-07 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-06-07 10:00 pm (UTC)Like the fish, we are precious and beautiful.
Unlike the fish, violence is not our way.
We don't urgently need to be dominant all the time,
Just...some of the time.
We bend like the middle-aged willow tree,
When serendipity allows, we take control,
When there is too much competition, we defer.
We can afford to let our feminine side show,
Since only the Alphas have to worry about being called sissies - we're already written off.
Our expression has more flexibility, since we do not fear being cast out.
We are the subtle strength, instead of the brute unyielding force.
We get things done quietly and without bluster: Being Alpha is inefficient.
We are the wit and intelligence that surprises you,
Traps you in our seductive gaze when the Alpha isn't around.
We have the confidence to sway people to our cause without the need to put other causes down.
We believe in abundance, not scarcity.
The Alpha's believe that there is only one definition of success.
We know better.
no subject
Date: 2015-06-07 11:43 pm (UTC)