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| GAROTE | ------------ | ANDROID |
| Hey, you remember my idea for a keychain-sized chain saw, right? | ||
| keychain-sized chainsaw... Sounds like a real danger to 'nads everywhere. "damn now where are my keys,..." bzrrrmm BZRRRMRMMM "Oh god NO NOO ARGH" | ||
| Yeah, well, a little rotary engine milled out of a 1 square inch block of aircraft aluminum would be the perfect powerplant for it! :-) | ||
| I can see it now. The Jaws of Life for RC cars. | ||
| It would be great for opening envelopes. | ||
| sheesh | ||
| You'd be the envy of whittlers everywhere. | ||
| You are seriously hunting my wumpus, here, man | ||
| Heh heh It would be absolutely useless, and I would *love* to have one. :-) | ||
| I'll make you one for your 70th birthday. You can use it to saw down all the candles on the cake. | ||
| Yesss!! | ||
| (laugh) | ||
Oct. 2nd, 2002
(no subject)
Oct. 2nd, 2002 01:19 amSO FUCKING HURT RIGHT NOW
Yeah. Things not adding up. Hands shaking so badly with rage I can't type right now. I'm going on a run.
Yeah. Things not adding up. Hands shaking so badly with rage I can't type right now. I'm going on a run.
(no subject)
Oct. 2nd, 2002 01:44 amI can't shake this vague fear that somehow I'm being kept in the dark.
about what?
i promise, you're not being kept in the dark about anything
you know i'm nothig but up front with you
That when I hang out with you, it's clearly about you and me, but when I'm not around, it's more about you and me and you and him, and you and him, and you and possibly her.
hahahahaha
It comes mostly from the things I come across in your LJ.
i can't help it if something turns me on. what i can control is what i do about that something
Of course.
But it's the way it _sounds_.
Jealousy : no. Disgust : no. Distrust and the potential to be hurt : yes, a bit.
understandable
yes, you have the potential to be hurt
95% of this feeling comes from the fact that I do not know these people, and that you seem reluctant to tell me.
it goes with the territory
i supose i will jsut have to earn your trust some more
It's been worrying me this last little while :(
i can be patient
garrett, you've nothing to worry about.
but, i can tell you that till i'm blue in the face
i think you can trust that i have a good head on my shoulders and am not going to do anything stupid simply for the sake of doing it
Yeah ... you're right ...
There are just a lot of unknowns I guess
garrett, you know me
you know where my heart is in all this
about what?
i promise, you're not being kept in the dark about anything
you know i'm nothig but up front with you
That when I hang out with you, it's clearly about you and me, but when I'm not around, it's more about you and me and you and him, and you and him, and you and possibly her.
hahahahaha
It comes mostly from the things I come across in your LJ.
i can't help it if something turns me on. what i can control is what i do about that something
Of course.
But it's the way it _sounds_.
Jealousy : no. Disgust : no. Distrust and the potential to be hurt : yes, a bit.
understandable
yes, you have the potential to be hurt
95% of this feeling comes from the fact that I do not know these people, and that you seem reluctant to tell me.
it goes with the territory
i supose i will jsut have to earn your trust some more
It's been worrying me this last little while :(
i can be patient
garrett, you've nothing to worry about.
but, i can tell you that till i'm blue in the face
i think you can trust that i have a good head on my shoulders and am not going to do anything stupid simply for the sake of doing it
Yeah ... you're right ...
There are just a lot of unknowns I guess
garrett, you know me
you know where my heart is in all this
(no subject)
Oct. 2nd, 2002 01:52 amAdvice to self, after running across the soccer field clawing at the ground and cursing for a while.
'Don't change your schedule for the sake of a woman' indeed. Interesting source, for that advice.
- Make it easier for her to leave, not harder. No good will come from making it harder.
- She denied herself to you, in order to clear a runway to him. Now she's moving thousands of miles and waiting three more celibate months to get back to him. If there was a contest, it was obviously over a while ago.
- Don't let it happen twice.
'Don't change your schedule for the sake of a woman' indeed. Interesting source, for that advice.
(no subject)
Oct. 2nd, 2002 05:38 amCouldn't sleep, obviously. So I drove to her house and knocked on her window and we talked.
My only bitter consolation is that she knows she's being stupid. Now the stress-test begins.
Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse
My only bitter consolation is that she knows she's being stupid. Now the stress-test begins.
Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse Do Not Try To Change Her Mind Give Up Now Walk Away It Can Only Get Worse
No sleep.
My Dad gave me an interesting description of the way dating and relationships work, a year or so ago. He summed it up like this: "People reject, and reject, and reject, until they get tired of rejecting."
Heh. What can you say,
when they declare on the way in
that this time, it's worth it, so this time, I will put in the work. I will weather the arguments, I will not wander, I will sacrifice my time, or friends, or posessions, or job, or all of them, when the need arises, I will start the family now and here, this is my salvation, I will stop looking now. IT'S DESTINY
Of course it will work out. It will work out by sheer force of will, and no mistake. You have decided it is worth it, so the hammers will come out, and carefully pound your lives in around each others', over time. It will work. Seriously. You're set.
But while all this construction is going on, let's keep one thing 'on the level', shall we:
Essentially, this is all taking place because you're both tired of rejecting, and you found a really good excuse to stop. An excuse with enough punch behind it to, hey, really make it stick this time. "Fuck it, this is the brass ring, baby! Because I SAID SO. I'll hate myself forever if I don't leap into this right now, and find out."
Oh, I can't blame you. If I had a chance to hook up with someone I'd had my eye on for a half-dozen years, and they were finally free and I was, uh, "free", I'd probably get mighty worked up over it myself. It would carry such a huge romantic weight of "destiny", "happy ending", and "closure", almost entirely independent of my true understanding of the person at hand, and completely without any working knowledge of how daily life will evolve.
I graduated from that dangerous reasoning when I left High School. Since then I've met some very fine people, and discovered some things I never thought possible. I've had to conquer a fear of the unknown, and trust my ability to carve what's good out of the rest of the world at large, and it's a skill that I grow more competent in every day, though I am at times unmotivated to employ it, for so much is right in my own room and head. The net is vast and infinite, as she says in Ghost In The Shell.
How's the saying go? "If you love someone, set them free"? There was always an implicit assumption between my ex2 and I, that if we ever decided to get back together, it would be for a long fucking time, or never at all. That assumption was helpful in that it made sure our breakup was in earnest, and well defined. It was also bizarrely tempting, because it had the feel of a very good excuse to stop rejecting, and take the lessons we'd learned apart, plus our past history, and stick at it.
But you can't compete with destiny. And unless I keep learning more good reasons why this is happening, I am in danger of losing a kind open friendship, feeling it curdle down to the sharp, acrid poison of contempt. I am trying to understand enough, to prevent this.
Will you burn your bridges so completely?
My Dad gave me an interesting description of the way dating and relationships work, a year or so ago. He summed it up like this: "People reject, and reject, and reject, until they get tired of rejecting."
Heh. What can you say,
when they declare on the way in
that this time, it's worth it, so this time, I will put in the work. I will weather the arguments, I will not wander, I will sacrifice my time, or friends, or posessions, or job, or all of them, when the need arises, I will start the family now and here, this is my salvation, I will stop looking now. IT'S DESTINY
Of course it will work out. It will work out by sheer force of will, and no mistake. You have decided it is worth it, so the hammers will come out, and carefully pound your lives in around each others', over time. It will work. Seriously. You're set.
But while all this construction is going on, let's keep one thing 'on the level', shall we:
Essentially, this is all taking place because you're both tired of rejecting, and you found a really good excuse to stop. An excuse with enough punch behind it to, hey, really make it stick this time. "Fuck it, this is the brass ring, baby! Because I SAID SO. I'll hate myself forever if I don't leap into this right now, and find out."
Oh, I can't blame you. If I had a chance to hook up with someone I'd had my eye on for a half-dozen years, and they were finally free and I was, uh, "free", I'd probably get mighty worked up over it myself. It would carry such a huge romantic weight of "destiny", "happy ending", and "closure", almost entirely independent of my true understanding of the person at hand, and completely without any working knowledge of how daily life will evolve.
I graduated from that dangerous reasoning when I left High School. Since then I've met some very fine people, and discovered some things I never thought possible. I've had to conquer a fear of the unknown, and trust my ability to carve what's good out of the rest of the world at large, and it's a skill that I grow more competent in every day, though I am at times unmotivated to employ it, for so much is right in my own room and head. The net is vast and infinite, as she says in Ghost In The Shell.
How's the saying go? "If you love someone, set them free"? There was always an implicit assumption between my ex2 and I, that if we ever decided to get back together, it would be for a long fucking time, or never at all. That assumption was helpful in that it made sure our breakup was in earnest, and well defined. It was also bizarrely tempting, because it had the feel of a very good excuse to stop rejecting, and take the lessons we'd learned apart, plus our past history, and stick at it.
But you can't compete with destiny. And unless I keep learning more good reasons why this is happening, I am in danger of losing a kind open friendship, feeling it curdle down to the sharp, acrid poison of contempt. I am trying to understand enough, to prevent this.
Will you burn your bridges so completely?
(no subject)
Oct. 2nd, 2002 08:33 pmBrain falling apart.
Still can't sleep
I lie down and my eyes close and I see THAT SMUG PICTURE
and I hear those words
but, i can tell you that till i'm blue in the face
i think you can trust that i have a good head on my shoulders and am not going to do anything stupid simply for the sake of doing it
And my heart writhes some more
"listen to your heart" yeah. You just keep doing that. you listen to yours and I'll lie here and listen to mine
Still can't sleep
I lie down and my eyes close and I see THAT SMUG PICTURE
and I hear those words
but, i can tell you that till i'm blue in the face
i think you can trust that i have a good head on my shoulders and am not going to do anything stupid simply for the sake of doing it
And my heart writhes some more
"listen to your heart" yeah. You just keep doing that. you listen to yours and I'll lie here and listen to mine