"There’s so much more to do here than anywhere else."
"I worked so hard this year I only got to use my passport once."
"I won’t date anyone that contributes to gentrification."
"I’m re-doing my apartment Shabby Chic this summer."
"The dive bar right next to me has the best selection of craft beers on the entire West Coast."
"My poo smells really nice when I'm in the city."
"San Francisco is totally different since I moved here 5 years ago. All these new people ruined it."
"My Android phone makes me a better human being."
"F*&@$ your Android phone!"
"The Castro is really safe at night, since everyone there is gay."
"I call it Whole Paycheck."
"Oh, you watch TV? Wow. ... Okay."
"I’m vegan. This sushi is awesome!"
"I'm vegan. This milkshake is awesome!"
"I'm vegan. And my cat is vegan too."
"I'm vegan. That means no oral sex!"
"Wow, you live in Oakland? Sorry, we can't hang out. That's way too far away."
"Sorry, I have to skip pre-pre-compression this year. I'm going to de-de-compression that weekend.
"This city is the greatest! I'm never leaving! Oh, I'm pregnant - we need to get out of here, pronto."
"Gay bars are the best! I’m so tired of being hit on. ... Why isn’t anyone paying attention to me? I’m bored."