A bizarre realization

[garote]

I don't know why it took me almost 20 years to see the pattern.

Just about every woman I've seriously dated or fallen in love with or even had a short fling with, has had a strong bisexual side. I could go right down my dating history from beginning to end, and whenever there was mutual attraction, it was with a woman with some bisexual traits, whether it be a sexual history with women, or an assertive masculinity to her personality, or a tomboyish appearance, or et cetera.

Why??

Even the girl I had a crush on in the fifth grade had a tomboyish haircut and demeanor. Decades later I found her on Facebook and discovered that she had become a career navy officer.

What the heck is going on??

Comments

[bluebear2.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... These kinds of things are hard to figure out. Maybe it's your energy. Perhaps you treat women equally unlike many straight guys and that attracts the same type of woman.
Just a theory, I'm guessing and really have no idea.

I have a friend who's gay but has had the occasional fling with women and he says all of the woman he's been attracted to have turned out to be Wiccan. He doesn't know what that's all about.

[pseydtonne.livejournal.com]

I can only give you my experience on this: I like butchy women.

I grew up with a lot of inhibitions about coming onto women. Thus I was drawn to women that made the first move. I soon learned that women with more of a swagger did not make me chase them: if they want to get involved, they've already told me.

This was especially true of the couple women I dated that were most lesbian. If that person chose me over other women, that's a clear signal.

I have no idea whether that will help you.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe you are just attracted to ladies who are open to exploring relationship configurations and physical/visual presentaions that are outside of the hetero-normative models we see in more mainstream culture. in other words, perhaps you like free thinkers who don't allow themselves to be confined by social norms and perhaps these visual gender cues are giving you reason to believe the ladies might be similarly nonconformist and exploratory in other areas of their lives too. That's my two cents anyway. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, plenty of people! A wide range of possibilities is intimidating for some people. Maybe a fellow wants his work and sportsball games to be unpredictable but wants his woman wearing a cute dress and a pleasant, subserviant smile on her face, and dinner on the table when he gets home. Valium, anyone?

It's an outmoded model but folks are still pushing for it, no? Eg I was shocked when I went to burning man and the VAST majority of folks were still playing out hetero-normative roles. I thought if anywhere, BM--an SF festival would involve tons of gender play. Turns out not so much. Stable narrow roles are comfortable for a LOT of folks.