Well. Having someone declare unequivocally that they're interested in me is very compelling, yes.
Also, it's true that I have very little interest in "chasing" after significant others. I totally understand, and even relate to, the idea of getting to know a person emotionally or intellectually before getting physically intimate with them. That makes perfect sense. But the idea that they would want to see more of me, but would deliberately make it harder for that to happen, or deliberately avoid telling me, always felt kind of ... degrading.
Yeah, I've encountered women before who justified this behavior by saying, "I need to draw the courtship out over a long period just to make sure that his interest is enduring, and not temporary." But again, that attitude feels ... degrading. Either you feel comfortable progressing with someone, or you don't. Either way you're better off listening to your instincts, and proceeding at exactly the pace those demand, whether fast or slow. Like guys who avoid returning phone calls, in order to avoid appearing "too eager". ... The manipulation has started even before the relationship has. How lame.
You can tell I have some Opinions about this.
So yeah, that honesty in intent is important, but I don't think it's a major ingredient in my attraction, or the mutual attraction. I think it's an indicator of how well the relationship might go, though...
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Date: 2012-10-28 10:20 pm (UTC)Also, it's true that I have very little interest in "chasing" after significant others. I totally understand, and even relate to, the idea of getting to know a person emotionally or intellectually before getting physically intimate with them. That makes perfect sense. But the idea that they would want to see more of me, but would deliberately make it harder for that to happen, or deliberately avoid telling me, always felt kind of ... degrading.
Yeah, I've encountered women before who justified this behavior by saying, "I need to draw the courtship out over a long period just to make sure that his interest is enduring, and not temporary." But again, that attitude feels ... degrading. Either you feel comfortable progressing with someone, or you don't. Either way you're better off listening to your instincts, and proceeding at exactly the pace those demand, whether fast or slow. Like guys who avoid returning phone calls, in order to avoid appearing "too eager". ... The manipulation has started even before the relationship has. How lame.
You can tell I have some Opinions about this.
So yeah, that honesty in intent is important, but I don't think it's a major ingredient in my attraction, or the mutual attraction. I think it's an indicator of how well the relationship might go, though...