Wrinkly

The IMDB reviews for Disney's 2018 "A Wrinkle In Time" are way more fun to read than the movie is to watch:

"... so then this Universe Darkness REALLY wants Meg, and she fights it and wins. She just needed to love herself and have self esteem. That's the big secret. Why does the Universe (light or dark) care SO MUCH about one little girl's self esteem? Then the three magic witch ladies tell Meg that she's "the next great person", like Ghandi, Marie Curie, etc. Just because she knows basic physics, can figure out a puzzle, and loves herself???"

The reviewer clearly hasn't seen much anime!

"Wife said time travel and Cap Kirk so I said sure. I about lost it when I saw giant Orpa."

Note: Oprah's character is inexplicably 20 feet tall in the movie.

"This book was not written about a bi racial family with an adopted Asian boy; it was written about a girl with 'flaming red hair' i.e. Meg and her white family. Why do we have to make EVERYTHING about race these days?"

+1 point for proper use of a semicolon! -10 points for being a douche.

"So in this movie, Evil is so incomprehensible that it seems that even the script writers could not comprehend it."

"I highly recommend the movie's trailer. It's superior, and you will only spend 2 minutes watching it, rather than spending 100 minutes feeling confused and embarrassed."

"Tommy Wiseau could have made a better version of this with random people picked off the streets."

Ouch!

"Lots of mishmash pop science that would embarrass any half way nerdy middle school science student."

"If I'm honest, I could have done without the annoying children in it at all."

"Sci-fi mangled by Hollywood hacks. A monstrous abomination. Outrageously bad."

"What tipped me off that this might be a real loser were the tacky eyebrows on Oprah. Also all that green didn't make Reese Witherspoon prettier."

"Oprah - nearly ruins the movie with her overbearing Opraness."

No idea what this means, but I still believe it.

"I must be honest in that I had no idea what the hell was going on."

"I love life affirming movies. I'm a sucker for feel good, touchy feely stuff that reminds me of how beautiful life can sometimes be. This felt like being force fed 5 tons of white chocolate and strawberry ice cream, washed down with 200 gallons of petrol. Pass me the sick bag please."

"The movie is a hundred-million-dollar backstreet rape, bereft of all magic or joy."

The above line is taken from the review voted "most useful" by other IMDB readers.