![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I was on my horse, mostly minding my own business - insofar as murder and thievery don't involve other persons - and taking a casual meander along the edge of a forest. Ahead of me was a nice vein of iron ore, striped along a hillside. I could chip that out and make some ingots for smithing. I rolled to a stop and dismounted, trying to remember if I still had a pickaxe. That's when I heard a voice yelling behind me, quite close at hand.
"Hey! You! I remember you! Where's my money?"
"What?" I said, rotating around.
The man was disheveled and hairy. I couldn't see any weapons, but it could be an ambush. Might be other people hiding in the trees.
"Who are you?" I said.
"Oh, come on! You don't remember me? Maybe you remember this stupid hat? The hat you guys dared me to steal, when we were sneaking past that imperial army camp? Well, I went in there, and I got it. I told you I would. That's 10,000 bucks you owe me."
"I have no idea who you are," I said, with complete honesty.
"It was you, I know it! You and those other drunk guys! We all went out together. It was completely crazy and I don't remember half of it but I do remember winning that bet! It wasn't hard, since when I woke up I was still wearing the hat!"
The hat in question was a canvas hood with crude leather filigree, glowing with a mild enchantment. It was butt-ugly. It looked like someone had cooked a larger-than-usual pancake and pressed it hard onto the back of this guy's head.
I thought for a second. Could it be? I rooted around in the drawers of my brain. Yes, I remember that quest ... It was totally awesome!
A long time ago I met a guy in town who said he was thinking of asking his sweetheart to marry him, and he showed me a shiny silver ring. I congratulated him and he said, "Hey, let's go out drinking together! I could use one more night of carousing before I get serious with my life." So we went to a bar. There we met this other guy who bragged that he could drink us under the table.
And then, everything went blank. After a while I saw the sky. Then I stood up, and looked around me. I was in a forest, half naked, with all of my valuables gone, and carrying a stolen statue from a temple, a dead fish, and a broken lute. Plus I was about four hundred miles east of where I'd been the night before.
I wandered back to the town, eventually, and the guy met me there and said we must have had a wild night, but he couldn't remember anything that happened. Then he realized that he no longer had his engagement ring, and got very upset. He begged me to help him retrace our steps and recover the ring.
Well, it turned out we went all over Skyrim. Like, impossibly far, given that we had only been out for a single night. I returned the statue to a temple in the western mountains. The priestess there claimed I'd run in the night before, with no pants on, screaming and waving around a broken lute, and then I'd taken the statue and dived out a window into the river 50 feet below. From there we found the owner of the lute and paid for it - since it was broken - and after following a trail of absurd clues for another day we ended up in the middle of a filthy swamp, 200 miles southwest of the town, in front of a dilapidated shack with a disturbing stench wafting out of it. When we approached, a bizarre woman shaped partially like a giant vulture came skipping out and attempted to kiss me. Turns out I'd proposed to her two nights ago in my drunken stupor, even though we were not actually the same species.
Before the hooting, babbling creature could drag me inside and have her way with me - probably not for the first time - my friend jumped between us and begged her for his ring back, explaining that it hadn't been mine to give. She was instantly furious, and started breathing poisoned gas at us and scratching at our faces. So much for romance. We drew swords, and a few minutes later her head rolled under the porch and her body tumbled into the swamp, sending up a cloud of stink and feathers. I found the ring on the table inside the shack, next to a heap of dead fish, some blackened flowers, and an appallingly dirty bed. If I'd been here before, it was a blessing that I couldn't remember it.
On our way back to town we ran into the third guy in the bar - the guy who challenged us to a drinking contest. He revealed that he was actually a demi-god, interfering with us mortals for his own amusement. He thanked us for a great time, and told me where I could find the rest of my missing equipment.
Well anyway, that all happened probably two years ago. That's two years in real-world time. Spring of 2012, maybe. Now I'm back in Skyrim for a while to homestead and kick through the Thieve's Guild questline, and here's this guy walking up to me by some random hillside hundreds of miles from the town, after all this time, to add a bizarre coda to the end of a quest I'd almost completely forgotten about.
Skyrim is like that.
I refused to give him 10,000 bucks for his trouble. "I don't remember any of it. Be reasonable!" I said. He reluctantly agreed and asked for 750 bucks - enough to buy a medicinal cure for his headache and find another hat. I handed it over, since it was barely even pocket change to me these days. "Thanks, friend!" he yelled, and took off at a sprint.
Then it was back to business. I looked through my stuff and realized I didn't have a pick axe after all. So I got back on my horse and rode on!
Out of curiosity, I tried on the hat. It looked just as dumb on me. I chucked it into a river.
"Hey! You! I remember you! Where's my money?"
"What?" I said, rotating around.
The man was disheveled and hairy. I couldn't see any weapons, but it could be an ambush. Might be other people hiding in the trees.
"Who are you?" I said.
"Oh, come on! You don't remember me? Maybe you remember this stupid hat? The hat you guys dared me to steal, when we were sneaking past that imperial army camp? Well, I went in there, and I got it. I told you I would. That's 10,000 bucks you owe me."
"I have no idea who you are," I said, with complete honesty.
"It was you, I know it! You and those other drunk guys! We all went out together. It was completely crazy and I don't remember half of it but I do remember winning that bet! It wasn't hard, since when I woke up I was still wearing the hat!"
The hat in question was a canvas hood with crude leather filigree, glowing with a mild enchantment. It was butt-ugly. It looked like someone had cooked a larger-than-usual pancake and pressed it hard onto the back of this guy's head.
I thought for a second. Could it be? I rooted around in the drawers of my brain. Yes, I remember that quest ... It was totally awesome!
A long time ago I met a guy in town who said he was thinking of asking his sweetheart to marry him, and he showed me a shiny silver ring. I congratulated him and he said, "Hey, let's go out drinking together! I could use one more night of carousing before I get serious with my life." So we went to a bar. There we met this other guy who bragged that he could drink us under the table.
And then, everything went blank. After a while I saw the sky. Then I stood up, and looked around me. I was in a forest, half naked, with all of my valuables gone, and carrying a stolen statue from a temple, a dead fish, and a broken lute. Plus I was about four hundred miles east of where I'd been the night before.
I wandered back to the town, eventually, and the guy met me there and said we must have had a wild night, but he couldn't remember anything that happened. Then he realized that he no longer had his engagement ring, and got very upset. He begged me to help him retrace our steps and recover the ring.
Well, it turned out we went all over Skyrim. Like, impossibly far, given that we had only been out for a single night. I returned the statue to a temple in the western mountains. The priestess there claimed I'd run in the night before, with no pants on, screaming and waving around a broken lute, and then I'd taken the statue and dived out a window into the river 50 feet below. From there we found the owner of the lute and paid for it - since it was broken - and after following a trail of absurd clues for another day we ended up in the middle of a filthy swamp, 200 miles southwest of the town, in front of a dilapidated shack with a disturbing stench wafting out of it. When we approached, a bizarre woman shaped partially like a giant vulture came skipping out and attempted to kiss me. Turns out I'd proposed to her two nights ago in my drunken stupor, even though we were not actually the same species.
Before the hooting, babbling creature could drag me inside and have her way with me - probably not for the first time - my friend jumped between us and begged her for his ring back, explaining that it hadn't been mine to give. She was instantly furious, and started breathing poisoned gas at us and scratching at our faces. So much for romance. We drew swords, and a few minutes later her head rolled under the porch and her body tumbled into the swamp, sending up a cloud of stink and feathers. I found the ring on the table inside the shack, next to a heap of dead fish, some blackened flowers, and an appallingly dirty bed. If I'd been here before, it was a blessing that I couldn't remember it.
On our way back to town we ran into the third guy in the bar - the guy who challenged us to a drinking contest. He revealed that he was actually a demi-god, interfering with us mortals for his own amusement. He thanked us for a great time, and told me where I could find the rest of my missing equipment.
Well anyway, that all happened probably two years ago. That's two years in real-world time. Spring of 2012, maybe. Now I'm back in Skyrim for a while to homestead and kick through the Thieve's Guild questline, and here's this guy walking up to me by some random hillside hundreds of miles from the town, after all this time, to add a bizarre coda to the end of a quest I'd almost completely forgotten about.
Skyrim is like that.
I refused to give him 10,000 bucks for his trouble. "I don't remember any of it. Be reasonable!" I said. He reluctantly agreed and asked for 750 bucks - enough to buy a medicinal cure for his headache and find another hat. I handed it over, since it was barely even pocket change to me these days. "Thanks, friend!" he yelled, and took off at a sprint.
Then it was back to business. I looked through my stuff and realized I didn't have a pick axe after all. So I got back on my horse and rode on!
Out of curiosity, I tried on the hat. It looked just as dumb on me. I chucked it into a river.
