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A character study (revised)
Jan. 25th, 2005 02:04 amYou do everything as quickly as possible, though not at the expense of accuracy. When a solution requires thought, you are willing to pause for as long as you need to think it through. You also understand that whenever you hit a snag so complicated that it stops you, you usually need to gather additional information. So you set about doing that, as quickly as possible. The solution then presents itself.
You are not so active because you are agitated inside. You are actually very calm inside, but you've learned that getting work done quickly and elegantly makes you feel happy. You are happy because you are participating in the dream of society building, at the same time as you create and refine that dream for others. You do not deliberately seek recognition for your work -- instead, you seek results. This way, your success or failure is yours to judge, improving your chances at happiness.
That inner calm is your foundation. You enjoy private time, exploring and reflecting at your own pace. You do not get lonely because during those times, the entity of "you" that could feel alone, fades away. This is your default state. Whether naturally or deliberately, your ego has become transparent, your sense of self almost completely submerged in the sensation of the world and the dream of society building, and the gratifying human expression of truth in your time alive.
This spectrum defines your whole universe, and yet there are a few things that have no place in it. The first is ego. You cannot argue for what you deserve in a random universe, and complaining about others earns you nothing. When ego doesn't fit, neither does religious devotion. Your mind is your friend, the dream of society is your own, and you do not bother to ask permission or forgiveness of something that cannot answer back. The third thing that won't fit in your universe is inefficiency. But inefficiency is everywhere around you, and that's why you're always at work. There is always something for you and your friends to research, repair, build, or improve.
You can be pleasant company to anyone for a while, but your true friends consist of people like you, or people who respect what you do. They claim the majority of your social activity. They do not gossip, they do not fight, and they do not nurse a grudge. Anyone you meet who indulges in these habits is marginalized as quickly as possible -- they are of less use. Their ego erodes your dream, and tires your friends, and slows you down. Even so, you are polite and careful with them. To you they are simply wayward souls.
Your mind is nimble but can also squeeze a concept very very hard once you negotiate a proper grip. You maintain your body well, but not for it's own sake. Any atrophy you feel in a muscle is eliminated by harder work. You dress comfortably, maintain your tools, and work to implement your dream. Even so, your apparently firm grip on discipline is illusory. You actually do just precisely what you want, one hundred percent of the time, and rely on your superb powers of concentration to keep the schedule. Because of this, routine does not work for you. When you can employ your hands, then your voice, then your mind, then your tools, and so on in unexpected combinatons throughout a day, you are at your best, and happiest.
People feel safe around you. They innately sense your strong desire for a harmonious world and bask in your projection of it. They don't feel afraid, because you show no interest in subordinating them. They rarely feel intimidated, because you so obviously don't care about their qualifications. You just want everyone to work together.
Laid beneath the floorboards of your routine and your aspirations, is the bedrock of your inner calm. That bedrock was there when you were born, and over the years you have hammered in a steel gridwork, a foundation around the basement of your mind, a platform upon which to exercise your dream of society building. It shapes your thoughts like a magnetic charge turns a compass, guiding your work, holding your memories in place, capturing warmth. Inside it, your transparent ego wants for nothing.
Outside the comfortable workshop of your mind, the whole world is a garden, to which you busily attend.
