This whole deal with deliberately seeking common ground, with shaping conversations to find a connection

This reminds me of that stanza from "Redwing Sonnets" by Julia Alvarez ... let me find it and type it in.

"Just the other night at a reception
I was politely working my way out
after fulfilling the obligation
that had brought me there. Oh dreary night!
I was ready for stars, a heady rain
or cool breeze tangling my skirt in my legs--
when a Fred or a Tom, a nametag name,
came up to me. I'm not sure what he said
but with a few questions he'd taken us
deep into the spell of the night going on
outside those closed windows. I could have wept
for finding at long last this oasis
of real talk. The breeze blew in. The stars came on
inside that room. I thanked him when I left."

(1995, lines 43-51)